One Year Tomorrow

Yes, I know...I have not been faithful in updating the blog.  I've thought about it several time over the last year, but I allowed life to distract me.  Distraction.  That is the appropriate word, isn't it? After all, I am my father's daughter.  I've journeyed through most of this year pretending like April 15, 2008 never happened, or trying to at least.  Dad's cell phone number is still programmed into my phone.  Sometimes I think if I call it, he'll answer and I'll wake up from this horrible dream.  But we all know that's not going to happen. 

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary.  One year!  That's a whole heck of a lot of distraction.  The Master's happened this past week in Augusta, which in the words of my dad, "I don't give a shit."  But sure enough, they remind me of him, of those five weeks in Augusta, GA, ofhim saying those very words.  Even sitting in church, a place he didn't much frequent, on Easter Sunday, I was reminded of how I spent last Easter driving down to Georgia two toddlers in tow.  Everything lately reminds me of him, even the devilish look in my two year old's eyes when he's on the brink of disobedience.

And then I think of what he's missed this part year.  The birth of his eighth grandchild he didn't even know was on the way, the inauguration of America's first black president, a plane crash where everyone survived,  just to name a few. I'm sure you all have things you'd want to tell him if he were still here.  Well, that's what I'm doing tomorrow and I invite you to join me.  I'm writing a letter to Dad just to fill him in, to let him know we're all okay down here (or maybe we're not). 

Not sure how many people still check in from time to time, but I thought some might come back for the anniversary and I wanted to be here to greet you.  You were all so near and dear to his heart.  I've made it so all comments can be posted freely, no approvals required, so speak freely (and cleanly).

Comments

[jameskildare]

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[robert piombino]

I am touched by your thoughtful and loving comments about your dad. I think I checked this site once or twice, and I never explored it as I probably should have, as I too have been busy or preoccupied, distracted is what you called it.

I was dx with rcc, had my kidney removed, and have been seeing numerous specialists. Some doctors are practicing in fields I never even heard of, oncologists urologist nephrologist,so many that I get confused as to what advice is from who, and which do I take heed of. The urologist cuts, but I dont want anymore of that, so I go to the nephrologist who says no IV dyes during CT scans as it will damage remaining kidney.

Then the CT report by board certified pathologists says he is limited to a more precise interpetation because of the lack of use of the Intravenous dye.

Then I read of metastisis and malignancy and IL2 and names you couldnt pronounce anyhow. It is a strange new world, one I never choose but one I now inhabit and am stuck in.

I was impressed at your choices of things that took place since your father passed away, and I think there are some wonderful things he may have missed. But without knowing too much about him, I can say that he didnt miss a wonderful daughter that surely loved her dad.

Like the Japaneese during cherry blossom festival, when they celebrate the sweet impermanance of life by soaking up the vibrant colours and beauty of the blossoms and celebrate life, and the falling off of the pink and white petals to the ground giving way to green leaves. So too, you enjoyed the life and time you had with your father and the passing of the sweet delicate petals is something that deepens the meaning and adds value to the time we had to enjoy such beauty.

I just wish you a happy life with great memories and stress free existance, as much as there can be with so many grandchildren, God bless and stay vibrant

Robert Apple Piombino
cancer Survivor

[Richard]

A thought from the other side of the aisle.
Is it coincidence that this Warrior's Anniversary comes during the celebration of Passover. I think not.

After all it is the celebration of freedom!

David, I miss our time together.

[Hillary]

Me too, Manuel, Me too!

To all of you who have fought, overcome, loved and lost...I salute you. You inspire me, and you inspired him. He felt connected to each of you in a way I simply can't explain. But this blog made him happy, so in a way, as long as it's around, he's around.

[Marianne CAshman]

Hillary

Just want you to know that your dad is certainly not forgotten. He touched so many people in so many ways and gave us all courage to take the steps we need to take in this journey. I hope your happy memories of your dad can help you these days and years to come!
Marianne - wife of Mike

[Jeanie]

Hillary, I check this site everyday since your father passed. What a pleasant suprise to see an entry today!!! For a minute I thought it was Dave!!!!! Haha Wishful thinking I guess. I lost my son to liver cancer Sept.1,2007. Dave, you helped me so much, you helped me understand so many things that were a puzzle to me during his illness. I hope we all didn't impose on you.

Dave you behave up there, look up my son, he will be the one riding the big Harley.. Dave, thanks for the memories.. Thank you too Hillary.

Jeanie

[Eleanor Koth]

Dave's blog was an inspiration, and I looked forward to reading it every day. He even took the time to send me an e-mail once to give me some advice on my own father's fight with RCC. My father passed away on February 7 of this year. It is so hard to believe they are gone, isn't it? Take care and God Bless you and your family.

Eleanor

[Kathy Farrell]

I never knew your Dad but learned alot from the site. I was new to the disease when your Dad passed, but his message has never passed. Thoughts are with you at this time, thank you so much for keeping his words alive for the rest of us.
Sincerely,
Kathy Farrell

[Karen Ali]

Hillary; I enjoyed the blog over the past year or so, and your father's posts to the group. I hope that you will have happy times to remember and that the sad times will become less frequent. While I have been NED for 8 years for my ovarian cancer, and now 5 years for the RCC, I lost my own father three weeks ago today to end stage renal disease. Life is not the same. He had been my warrior and was there with me as I went through the surgeries and the anxiety of waiting for the next test.

It is never easy to say goodbye to a loved one, but life is a journey, and our belief in the promises of God makes it more bearable. I wish you much happiness in the days and years ahead and that your little ones will come to know their grandfather through you.

[Patti Graves]

One year. Hard to believe. It will be one year for us in July. I read your fathers blog often and always enjoyed it. I like to think that my husband, Jim, and his fellow warriors are all united and watching over us now. That they are showing the "new guys" the ropes. I took over my husbands cell phone. It still has his voice message on it. I call it sometimes just to hear his voice. (So do our kids and some of his friends). It makes me happy and sad. We take it one day at a time. It's the best that we can do. I know it's not easy. Take care.

Patti Graves wife of Jim (5/54 - 7/08)

[Linda Cox]

I know how hard the "first" holiday, anniversary of loosing your loved one, birthday’s etc are. I still struggle every year with the 24 hour period before Lori lost her battle, remembering what she went through – That is more difficult for me than the day she passed away, because I knew at that time she was at peace and in Heaven. Your family is in my prayers this anniversary of loosing David. Maybe he is in Heaven now, enjoying my precious daughter’s sugar cookies, that she was so famous for making! I just hope our kidney onc family in Heaven is able to make connections with each other and can see that we still are still remembering them, honoring them, loving them and trying to find a cure for the monstrous disease that took them from us!

I remember reading what your dad wrote on the kidney onc site and on his blog. His name has been brought up many times as we remember some of the things he said. His battle touched us all.

I pray that the good and happy memories you have will bring you peace today and that knowing prayers, positive thoughts and memories of Dad are being sent your way.

May God bless and be with you on this day and always.

Most sincerely,
Linda Cox
Always and Forever
Proud mom of
Lori Ann Shew
3/14/1970-1/18/2005

[Richard Catlett]

I celebrate two years of survival tomorrow, thanks to Sutent, five surgeries, and prayer. Luckily, I found David's site early on and he helped me through the early part of confusion, pain and sickness with his humor and sharing of his life with kidney cancer. His posts gave me hope and most times a good chuckle. I think of him regularly. He even gave me a nickname.
Richard Catlett
Bone Warrior

[Liz Monahan]

Like Mickeral, I had not seen your dad's site until now. Even though the beast finally took him, he is an inspiration to me, Hillary. I love the mix of humor and candor in his posts. My dad died of lung cancer in 2002, a month before I became pregnant with my first child. He fought hard for 3.5 yrs and is the strongest person I've known, though now in my own battle I'm meeting others who are also very strong, who give me strength by sharing their stories.

I send you and all your family wishes of peace and love on this tough day. Your dad is not with you in person any more, but surely lives on in so many hearts.

[Shaun Tierney]

Dave was my role model and life coach for my first 2 years as a person living with Stage IV RCC. He was always there to answer my questions or just shoot the bull. We wrote to each other often, sharing our experiences, emotions and life stories. While we did get into some serious "stuff", most of my favorite exchanges captured his sense of humor in dealing with cancer. I still haven't deleted any of his emails and read them when I need inspiration.

Here are couple of examples of the world according to Dave. Miss ya big guy!

Sherry was out with friends last night and I walked through the kitchen, to the phone, called in a pizza and celebrated lethargy until bed time. Sherry came home and I was asleep on the sofa. She said "shouldn't you go to bed?" I gave that some thought. The bed was about 40 feet away, the sofa was under my ass. Guess what my answer was, other than, "Why did you wake me up?"

I don't think "normal" people have half the fun we do. How nice to go to a family gathering, get a little bored and say, well, I need to take a nap. Everybody gives you that poor puppy look ("He does have cancer, you know.) and then scurries around to find just the right place for you.

[Mike Lawing - Western NC]

I never had the privilege of finding this site till a friend of mine told me about it after Dave's passing.
Dave's zest for life will continue, whether in the eyes of that two year old on the verge of disobedience, or in a lesson and a determination that his work and life taught someone who was inspired by a most wonderful man.
Today, as I share with others, a portion of that strength and ability to do so comes from the inspiration of Dave and countless others like him, who in spite of...
Continues to be a source of encouragement and strength.
Thank you for opening this blog for all to pay our sincerest thanks to such a wonderful man and his beautiful family.

Warmest Wishes - Best of Success-
Mickeral - rcc survivor/overcomer since 1997

[Manuel Lopez]

Hillary, you know how I feel about your Dad. I have thought of him every day since we lost him. He was important to so many and I know many future Warriors will find strength in his writing.

[Liz Lewis]

Thinking of you and your family. what a wonderful guy your dad is and obviously he was an incredible father as well to raise such a loving daughter. Your dad helped so many of us and will be forever remembered for his sense of humor, his tenacity and his gift of words.
All my best to you and your family -
Liz
wife to warren

We Miss You Dave!

[Hillary]

Patti, Thanks for remembering. I hope you & Geoff are doing well, fighting an exhausting battle. I hope you win the war. We actually have the MPA (Magazine Publisher's of America) to thank for kepping the blog up & running. They even gave me my own log-in so I could continue to update.

Keep on keeping on.

[Patti Tischbein]

still here and checking in from time to time, re-reading, remembering an awesome man. Hugz to you and thank you for keeping this blog here and your dad's memory alive for those who have been touched by his journey, his words and amazing courage and strength.
Patti T.
wife to Geoff, 2 year RCC survivor