Sitting in the car, puffing my pipe and thinking on the day. This morning Dr. Shlaer and I had a great conference and I do start Torisel after Christmas. This afternoon the ladies at PT pulled and pushed on me for about an hour to help get back to where I was just two weeks ago. Wrote some magazine copy for a start publication out of Charleston, S.C. named Garden and Gun. Somehow it is mixing the basic copy of a women's magazine with the addition of shooting. As a husband, I am not sure I am in favor of that, especially if they have true to life stories such as "How I Straightened Him Out for the Last Time." Not to worry, David Foster will not write one of those. Sherry is fully prepared for such an incident. If it comes to that, however, I hope she uses her Beretta O/U, an absolutely beautiful shotgun that is almost feminine in its feel (no pun intended) and looks.
It is so beautiful, Sherry might consider displaying it at the memorial services. I have a number of affluent unmarried men friends who would love to have a gun like that in their cabinet and more than willing to pay the price of admission: Behave or end up in a little urn like this one. The woman is kinda cute, but you know where the straight and narrow is and the gun will always remind you of where it is not, not to mention a pawning value of some $2300. Sounds like a winner for every body but me...which is why I stay on the straight and narrow. Yes, sir.
Speaking of arrangements I have now in the process of planning mine. Not that I expect to use them anytime soon, but better safe that sorrow. So last week as I was all drugged up in the Human Garage, I asked our oncology chaplain if he would facilitate. Then I would like four or five close friends to speak about my poor departed soul. And that's it. The only music I will demand is a hymn, not very well known, "Into the Woods My Master Went," by Sidney Lanier. As for what to do with the corpus delicti? Cremate it. And what they do with the ashes, as a dead man I don't think I will much care, so I don't much care now.
And I am going to do a ten minute tape for the chaplain to play at the end of the services as a little surprise. This comes from friend of mind who announced a formal dinner, "Foster, if this cancer kills you I'm coming to the funeral." I said, "Pete, that's mighty sweet, but I don't think I would fly all the way from LA to Augusta just to go to a funeral." And he said: "Oh, no, if you are going to be in one room and not talk, I don't want to miss it."
I thought that was funny as hell, but I can just hear the groans (and hopefully the shock) from the watch watchers when I crank up with one of my stories. Just the thought of that provides me with great entertainment. It's like living through a little bit of the hereafter long before you get there. Heh, heh, heh.
Dad, Is it really a surprise if you post it on your blog? Only you can make a completely depressing matter into a stand up comedy act. I salute you. Oh, if you haven't noticed, I decided to read your blog everyday, so I don't have to read about how your doing in a Christmas card from a family member. Love you, Hillary
Posted by: Hillary | December 20, 2007 at 09:23 PM
Dave,
Love the idea of a tape from the "hereafter"...just a few people would have the talent to pull that off..you are one of them! Turning tears to laughter would be a lasting gift to your family and friends. Hope the unviewed tape sits in your closet for years to come!
Teri
Posted by: Teri | December 20, 2007 at 10:55 AM
David,
I don't post many comments on your blog but I read it everyday. With such serious substance you are always a hoot and a half. Your sense of humor is remarkable. I lost my Warrior a few months back and reading your posts really helped me during and after my son's sickness and death. You have no idea how much you help people fighting this beast and I thank you for that. He left this world without a will or any arrangements at all, you have no idea how hard that is on a family. From what I read in your last post you are taking care of business and inserting your remarkable sense of humor I might add. You hang in there young man, what would I do if I couldn't read your posts!!!!! You are in my prayers.
Jeanie
Posted by: Jeanie | December 19, 2007 at 06:38 PM
To make plans early is a great gift for the Knights so you did a good thing even though it is depressing. It is all part of life's journey.
Posted by: Mary | December 19, 2007 at 04:25 PM
It's never to late to prepare, depressing as it can be. Still Dave, I imagine you will have fun doing the tape. Please be sure to include that story you told me once of you and your dad after he had a fight with your mother. That was classic.
And now here's hoping you live long enough to be a pain in the arse.
Posted by: Manuel | December 19, 2007 at 10:49 AM
You are a very funny guy. First you bask in the glory of prayer and evoke the power within right down to the holy foundation of faith. Then you let everyone in on your last party plans. David you are a crack up. I for one love it! And as I always say...if they can't take a joke. Let's laugh again in cancer's face. Again and again my friend.
Wait. Wait. I just got an email from the Augusta Hospital. Apparently they are missing a rather large supply of Percocet. You devil you.
Posted by: Richard | December 18, 2007 at 08:09 PM