Last Wednesday, I awakened all warm and fuzzy, this during a 24 hour period when I had no drugs. Even the hospital room felt inviting and I very much at home in it. Many of the gloomier concerns that were on my mind the night before were gone. For all the poking and prodding and not good news I felt at one with everything. Was even glad to see breakfast. When the assistant nurse came in to take my vitals I told her about my especially nice well-being. And she said "Those are from your prayer groups." She blew up the blood pressure bladder, waited for that business to be done and said, "You know, all those people out there praying for you. That's what you feel. You didn't know that?"
"I know a lot of people keep me in their prayers, but you are saying those prayers are literally touching me?"
"That's what I'm saying. We see it a lot, though most folks don't know what it is. And I don't tell'em because they might think I want to start some religious conversation or something."
"Why did you tell me?"
"I just thought you needed to know."
"Be danged."
For they rest of that day (and from time to time since) I have mulled that moment over. I do know I experienced a time of peace and optimism I have seldom felt during this crisis. But at no time during my cancer experience have I felt it was out of my control. Yet the day I went into the hospital I feared I was at a turning point and not a good one. Then to wake up one morning and all that is gone? well, there had to be reason.
It was as if all those prayers suddenly coalesced somewhere and shot a beam of love and confidence right through me. People from as far away as Moscow and as near as right next door have told me they keep me in their prayers and on their prayer lists. As I think many other people do, I took those thoughts as just that, thoughts. One human being offering a psychological hand up to another. Being nice, as my mother would say.
But since that night, my cancer has not seemed the demon it was. There is a new found strength in my psyche that I have seldom--if ever--felt. How all that works is beyond me. My father said to me once: "Son, never question a miracle, just accept it."
The thoughts of hundreds, if not thousands, of people around the world coming together in that one instance to give me strength. Impossible to believe, but from my frail point of view undoubtedly true. At least true to me.
Dad, Ofcourse, you're always in my prayers, and I hope you know that when I pray, I pray for God to touch you with his peace that surpasses all understanding and that he will give you hope. I'm so encouraged to know that you can feel His touch. In a way, it's like I'm able to be there even though I'm over 600 miles away. I read this passage this morning and it really spoke to my soul. I hope it brings you encouragement.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days for me were written in your book before one of them came to be...Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." Ps 139:14-16;23-24!
Love you,
Hills
Posted by: Hillary | December 19, 2007 at 07:57 AM
Amen.
Our God is a very big God.
Amen.
Lay your head on Abba's chest and hear how His heart beats with love for YOU.
YOU
Just as YOU are right now.
YOU,His child.
You are Abba's Child.
Amen
Posted by: Pat Osberg | December 18, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Pretty surreal when it happens eh? You are well prayed for David by people you don't even know. Glad you are back online with us. Prayers will continue.
Posted by: Mary | December 18, 2007 at 01:53 PM
Hey David
Have a great Christmas and New Year!! I'll be thinking of ya
Andy
Posted by: Andy | December 18, 2007 at 07:52 AM
Dear Dave, Prayer is truly amazing. Just like you describe, a sense of well being in the midst of dire circumstances. I call it experiencing the grace of God. I am glad you sensed it. I pray for you often. I don't understand the how of it, but I believe in the power of it because I experience the effects of it all the time. Wow, the amount of prayers that go up on your behalf must be numerous!!!!
Robbie, age 52, female ARCC
Posted by: Robbie | December 17, 2007 at 07:37 PM