Would I Do For Her What She Has Done For Me?

Ah, Saturday after Thanksgiving. Plans? None. Well, maybe to whack back a couple of turkey sandwiches and some warmed up gravy. For me that is a banquet. And plenty of napping. I have three areas for napping. The chair in front of the TV (like many middle aged--OK, upper middle aged) men I can put the History Channel on and just let the day roll away), the sofa in the living room (put my feet up) and, of course, the bed. Yesterday, I hit all three of them and timed each one perfectly. Sadie was tired from running around outside so she snuggled right down with me. Puppy nap warning: extends your nap by at least an hour, minimum.

During all this time Sherry is moving around the house like a automaton. And when she's not cooking, cleaning or asking me how I am doing, she is off to Target (was there ever another department store before Target?). She says it is pick up this thing or the other we really need, but I think it is just for a shiny floor fix. When she leaves for Target she always asks "Do you need anything from Target?" Since I am always half asleep weekends, visiting a department store in my mind is almost as bad as visiting one in person. So I say "no" and off she goes.  And then think of several and decide maybe not a good idea to call with one more change of mind.

In the afternoon, she made sure my bed was nice and clean and then drove to Aiken to watch my daughter ride. I'm still honking around on the couch waiting for the Tech/Georgia  game to start, which will require moving the base of operations (sleeping puppy, half-asleep Dave, Jeb and snacks) into the television room.

Finally the game ends, Sherry builds a fire and we spend almost three pleasant hours watching flames and just chatting. To be fair, she chatted and I mostly listened.

Today I got a comment from Debbie about my post on Knights Thanksgiving Day and how she feels sure if the tables were reversed I would be as good a Knight to Sherry as she has been to me. So I have spent some Sunday time thinking about that. When I am well and at the top of my game I don't have an iota of Sherry's energy and damn sure not her patience. She is fastidious. I am not. She worries about my nutrition and all that, up to and including some holistic meds. I too often don't much want to eat, but seldom do I worry about my nutrition. She takes care of this puppy in ways I would never conceive, like taking it out on a cold morning in her PJ's and waiting for it to piddle. My approach is more like: "Out the door little dog, when you are ready for a nap, just give it a scratch."

I have never understood the need to make a bed every day. Maybe when you have company, that sounds reasonable, but what the hell would they being doing in your bedroom anyway? Maybe that doesn't sound so reasonable after all. Regardless, the bed gets made, every day, with all the appropriate pillows fluffed and placed (which is something of an obstacle for a man looking for a place to goldbrick).

As for meals. I like to cook a few things, but not on a daily basis. Sherry prepares a real dinner almost every night, making sure there is plenty of protein to give me Warrior strength (but maybe in reality give her Knight strength).

So I asked my self today: Could you do that? Half that? A quarter that? if the tables were turned. Five years ago, I think not. Today, I would try my best (except for making the bed every day and running to Target. Just not genetically qualified).

You see, cancer has matured me in many ways. I no longer consider a helping hand a birthright. Instead, I have learned that when it comes to crisis, hands grasp one another across the table, each doing its best to support the other. Sometimes I am better at it than others, but the motivation, yes, even the desire, is always there.

My father told me when I was a child that one never stops maturing...if you allow yourself to grow into it. I have learned some sixty years later exactly what he meant. If Sherry ever needed a Knight I would do my best.  I am sure not as well as she has done, but my best. A helping hand is not a birthright, but Sherry has certainly earned hers...in spades.

Comments

[Pat Osberg]

You would do so.
You would do it in YOUR way, not HERS.
It is about LOVE and PROMISES KEPT.
PO

[Mary]

And to end your blog I say "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". Caregiver/Knight = Wife and reverse for the males. Yes David from what I have read I do believe you would do your very best for Sherry. Ain't love grand.