Hope Will Never Trump Commitment

    "Joanie" wrote six sentences:
    "I'm 33 years old and had renal cell carcinoma. I had a radical nephrectomy on April 13th of this year. I'm one of those rare cases. I'm still in pain. I'm also the Mother of a ten year old son and a severely autistic 6 year old daughter. I hope I live to 40."
    Damn, that one hurts. I found myself soaking it up in reverse. "Severely autistic 6 year old." Mother of a boy at the very height of his childhood.. "I am still in pain." "Thirty three years old." Then back to the end: "I hope to live to 40."
    That's a lifetime of pain and disappointment for an eighty year old, much less a young woman on the cusp of the rest of her life. In her posting, she did not ask for advice, but just threw those six sentences on the world wide web.
    "I hope I live to 40."
    Somehow I do not think this is so much about Kidney Cancer as about a woman in pain summarizing a very difficult ten years. There is tragedy in cancer, absolutely, and most of us who have it consider it the tragedy of our lives. But considering Joanie's age (I have two children older than her), her family circumstances and the continuing pain from her nephrectomy and, well, it makes me feel like a whiner, even when I am not whining.
    On the other hand, I would like for Joanie to buck up. If the nephrectomy got all of the cancer, already she has had a major victory. I would certainly take it. If she could look just a little deeper within herself, find the Warrior one more time, I think she could take this crisis to victory as well. But there are few things more difficult than to find yourself in the trenches for six years with a severely autistic child only to turn and face yet another seemingly unbeatable issue.
    But the last line of her note is, while pleading, also full of strength: "I hope I live to 40." It seems she is OK with her world, wants it to continue, but somehow feels life has just not dealt her that card.
    Joanie, your pain from the surgery will, most likely, go away, but it can take a year (mine did). Some of this pain may be coming from your attitude. And while "hope" is good, it does not trump commitment. Never has, never will. It does not take audacity to hope. It takes audacity to find the Joan d' Arc within you to find the strength to beat the cancer and visualize a long and productive future...not to mention the satisfaction of raising your children to be the best they can be. That is all any of us can do.
    Easy for me to say? Yeah. Easy. But it has not been so easy to commit myself to so many other crises, including ARCC.  And you might find it  good to remember, no matter how lonely this feels, there are millions of people who share your pain, not merely feel it.

   

Comments

[Robert Benedict]

He lived a simple life. As a Custom Furniture Uphosterer in a simple shop, in a big city.
Semi-retired at the age of 67, he received an ill-timed letter dated Dec 21,1977 from The Katonah Medical.The letter informed Vincent that he had Chronic Leukemia.
Upon later research, it was learned that he would live a normal life...but be prone to other possibilities from this disorder.

It was nine years later, that a persitant cough was diagnosed as Fibrosis Pneumonia, and only 4 days after that while in a reputable Hospital in New York his son was informed of the tragic news...the advancement could not be stopped with the lastest anti-biotic treatments.
On the way Home, the news set in..
The patient's son ...realized that something of a pet project delivered to him on or about march 14, 1977 might be of some help.
The son raced back to the Hospital ...received permission to sign his father out of the Hospital.The Doctor knew the son, and coincidentally worked for the son's father-in-Law in the largest Private Medical Group in the United States...and he agreed to let the Patient go home.
Thirty days later, without telling his son....he went to see the Doctor.
10 Days Later..the phone rang.it was the Doctor calling the Patients son...Mr.___________"there's something you need to know" ...almost on the verge of laughter ..the son of the patient replied, "yes Doctor I know Vincent is alive?...No , the Doctor replied ....theirs something you need to know ? THE CHRONIC LEUKEMIA IS GONE .
Vincent retired to New Port Richie, Florida. He has gone 25 years without a sniffle, sneeze or a cold ........I need someone to help document and bring to the Medical Community ..what that something was...And ,I need someone to meet Vincent's doctor ( for the first time );with full authorization to help bring this "something" and it's documentation to the Medical Comunity. This is .....1 of over 10,000 such cases ?
Anyone who thinks they will be limited to age forty had better examine their driving skills ...With modern advancements in Medicine ...who knows?